Somewhere Left of Ghandi

I am staging a sit-in.
Don't worry, Yoko, Husband and I will be fully clothed.

I'm reviving Husband's He-Man costume and adding some Man Bits to the front for the photo op-- that's what got Lennon and Ono the publicity, right? It was their nudity during the bed-in to protest the Vietnam war that got them the press coverage. I mean, nobody know who Yoko and John were before then, right?
Oh.

Well, it's hard to grab attention these days, and we need all the help we can get if the sit-in is going to be successful, so I'm willing to let Husband pretend to be nude if it will help our cause. Just like John and Yoko.

They weren't nude?  Next you're gonna say that Rosa Parks wasn't in trouble for sitting in the wrong section of that bus.

...

What do you mean she wasn't? She was seated in the "Blacks Only" area? Then what was the problem? Oh. Some white lady wanted Rosa's spot because the white section was already full? Dang Rosa. I wouldn't've moved either.

But where was I? Ah yes, Man Bits. The Man Bits will be attached to the fur undies from the costume, since men are usually furry around that area anyway. I've already committed to the idea of a nude sit-in, so we're gonna run with it.

Why the civil disobedience? Well, there's a little boy in Kiddo #1's class. He's been very aggressive (am I the only one that spells out that cheerleading thing every time I spell aggressive? "Be-Aggressive, b-e-aggressive, b-e-a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e! Go Spartans!").

Where was I? Ah yes. He's been very a-g-g-r-e-s-s-i-v-e since school started. I've been in contact with the teacher-- who is amazing, by the way-- but this kid seems to be getting worse as the months go on. Little Johnny (which is my generic name for a little jerk kids, male or female) has pushed Kiddo #1 down and had generally been pretty ugly with his words since school began.

I'm trying to teach her to not be a victim, so I told her to tell Little Johnny, "No!" and to leave where he is. That worked a couple of times until one of his jerk cronies called Kiddo #1 "a baby" for crying after he said something really mean and pushed her. So, then I told her to say either Stop! or No! and to find an adult.

In the meantime, I also told her to talk to Teacher about what's going on. Again, trying to teach her self-advocacy, I wanted her to deal with this situation head-on. (Secretly I wrote a couple of notes to the teacher to ask that she check-in with Kiddo #1 about this (and subsequent) situation just in case Kiddo #1 forgot.  Self-advocacy is good, but I wanted Teacher to know that I knew what was going on, too.)

So, yesterday, when I got a phone call from the school saying they were "on top of the situation, but Little Johnny slapped/hit Kiddo #1 in the face," I was stunned.  Mostly, I was shocked because Kiddo #1 hadn't said anything about it when she got off the bus and she was taking her pre-dance nap (see: Rage Is Cray) so I had no way to find out any information from her.

When she awoke and we chatted about the incident, she became very agitated and upset; it is heartbreaking to see your baby being hurt by someone. She's had a "sore tummy" for about a month now and in the last two weeks, my wee love hasn't wanted to go to school-- somewhere she adores being!  This has been awful to watch, as I'm sure you know if you've ever had a child affected by a bully.

This was so heartbreaking, in fact, that I said something I never, ever in my life, thought I would say.

I said, "You know, next time Little Johnny pushes you around like that, after you've said No and Stop, if he keeps going, you can push him away from you."

What? How did that fall out of my mouth? Where did that even come from? As soon as I'd said it I regretted it. Why? Well, as we all know, it's never the bully that gets in trouble for laying hands on the kid, it's the kid that's finally had enough and goes crazy that gets into trouble.

So, I quickly back pedaled and reiterated the whole "No! Stop! Find a Teacher!" (and made it into a catchy song with lame choreography for us to practice) because I felt so ashamed of myself.

Don't worry, we're working on the situation at school. But in the meantime, I'm staging a sit-in.  It's gonna take place outside the house of the kiddo. (note to self: find out Little Johnny's last name and/or address)  Husband is going to put on his altered He-Man costume. And me?

Well, I've switched from store-bought deodorant to using some crazy crystal rock thing made of mineral salts. I'm on Day Two of my new 'natural' deodorizing solution, and I'm not sure there's much deodorizing going on here. Either that or I need to put some orange peels and cinnamon sticks on the stove to simmer because my house has become an onion processing plant. In fact, now that I think about it, maybe it isn't my deodorant-- everywhere I go today smells like onion. There appears to be an onion epidemic in my fair city.

Don't roll your eyes at my delusion. It's mine and I like it.

Anyway, with my new found... scent... either Husband and I will achieve our goal of getting Little Johnny in a better (less-restrictive) environment (since his behaviours are escalating) or I'll just run a couple of miles with my rock deodorant on and stand in front of an industrial fan with my arms up. No one wants to live in an onion. Not even Shrek.