Trifecta Wagering Is Open

It’s that time of year again: I’ve been researching various mimosa and sangria recipes in hopes of finding the perfect concoction for the first day of school. It’s not that I’m not going to miss Little Miss, but every day of summer vacation reminds me why teachers need summer vacation. 

I’m freaking out a little lot though.

Is it just me or do the back-to-school lists look something like this:

1 white eraser

1 pencil case

1 pair of indoor sneakers

2 live monarch butterflies

5 duotangs- 1 red, 2 orange, 1 yellow and 1 purple

1 unicorn eyelash

4 pencils

A package of spoons

Not to mention the clothes shopping.

Until I had children, I had never pondered why bugs in the Rainforest are 9 feet tall.  Now that I’ve survived my first summer with a school-aged child, I realize those bugs are huge because The Rainforest is hot and humid, with lots of sunshine, 365 days a year. If our kids lived there, trust me, we’d all have basketball stars and models;  two months of Chatham heat and humidity and my daughter went from “mostly tall” to “Amazonian.” 

Nope, sorry giant kid. You won't even fit on the Magic School Bus. 

You'd think after all that growing, that my issues catching the bus would be no more-- perhaps this would be the year that Kiddo #1 no longer has to catch the bus because she's too tall to even fit inside.

As luck would have it, this is not that year.

Like any good horse racer, I checked out the leader board and the racing program before betting on our first day success-potential. 

Kiddo Numba Won

Class: Kindergarten Claimer

Kiddo Numba Won, according to the program, is using Blinders for the first time this race. This is a good thing to know because there is a real potential for her not to get distracted by toys, games, or really anything between brushing her teeth and eating her breakfast. To the average race reader, this might not be critical, but I know my horse. Er, my daughter. She will definitely have a significantly higher chance of catching the bus if there's no way to distract her from her course. Unfortunately for her, however, there have been no driver or trainer changes-- meaning I'm here and not going anywhere.  I'm both driver and trainer and I am clearly doing something wrong. Kiddo Numba Won is able to catch the bus when her father is here as driver and unable when I am; odds are she's pooched before the call to post simply because we didn't modify the driver. Drat.

Checking the race stats for Kiddo Numba Won, she didn't catch the bus in her last three starts.  In fact, she didn't even come close. It was like she thought every day of the week was Saturday, judging from her times posted. Yet, there's something worth noting on the program here-- on 2 of her 4 starts, she was the favourite to catch that bus and yet still didn't. The addition of Blinders could be the thing she needs to finally win the Race. 

Bookbag and other equipment are on and ready to go. I'm dressed, Milo's dressed and we're all ready except for shoes. This is awesome. This is amazing! This is the way to start a New Year!  Kiddo Numba Won looks at me and says "Momma, my chest is tight."  I say, "Get your shoes on, we've got 12 minutes until the bus."  She says, "Momma (horrific cough) my chest hurts (disgusting cough) when I do that. Oooh."  I say, "Well, it wouldn't hurt so much if you had your shoes on." 

That's when I realize I have to scratch her.  To non-horse folks: I didn't sharpen my claws and go at my daughter à la Wolverine-- when you "scratch" a horse it means you pull her from the race before she even goes on the track. 

It sucks for the Momma because I still have to get her to school whether Kiddo Numba Won catch the bus or not. But it only semi-sucks for the Momma today, because it's the first day of school and I was going to put her on the bus and race over to the school, anyway, so that I could walk her to the yard and see who her teacher is.

Scratched and happy, we toot on over to the school with our unicorn eyelash and various other school supplies. I find last year's teacher and feel sad that we won't have her again this year.  But, sensing my apprehension, new teacher arrived on the scene and said "Oh! Kiddo #1, you look very lovely today. I like your skirt very much."  

For the win.