Happy Teacher Appreciation Day!

I got a text from a friend of mine today.  It read:

Friend: Hey, so, like, what's the most memorable, meaningful, best present you ever got as a teacher?
Me: Starbucks gift cards. Haha. Just kidding.

And then I really thought about it and wrote back:

Once, two students co-wrote a story about me... and a mountain. ... It's complicated and beautiful.  Another time, I got a gift card for a bookstore from a kiddo who is dyslexic and a note that thanked me for helping him not hate English for once.  Another time, I got false eyelashes from one of my gay students, thanking me for being his safe place.  And then, I got a hug from a boy who thanked me for helping him be the first one in his family to graduate high school without going to jail first.

I'm sure she was looking for something tangible, something other than my trip down memory lane, but it made me remember why I do what I do.

Which, I guess, that's a gift in itself.

It was handy to get that text because holy shit it was a gong show at school today.

Kids were "off the heezy" which is to say, "insane in the membrane."  Turns out, as happens at many schools this time of year, our provincial, municipal and local funding for the snack program ran out and this was our first day without our (free) snack bins for our kiddos.

Holy cow, I had no idea just how much our kiddos depend on those offerings of cheese strings, bananas, pretzel squares and/or goldfish.  Everyone was just a little nutty, and many were complaining of headaches, tummy aches, and straight-up hunger.

Guess how much actual teaching and learning goes on when all you can think about is food?

Less than that.

By the end of the day, the other staffers in the building and I were looking at each other with twitchy panic in our eyes.  I had a run of 4 gym classes today.  All 4 of them had at least two kids who had to be removed due to nervous breakdowns that I attribute directly to not enough to eat; the meltdowns had low-blood sugar written all over them.

"Madame, I'm hungry."  <--- I'd normally say "Grab something from the snack bin."
"My tummy hurts."  <-- "Go get a drink and if it's still grumbley, grab something from the snack bin."
"I didn't eat breakfast."  <--- "You need to eat in the morning or your brain won't work. Go grab..."

You get the picture.

Only today, I could just say "Friend, there's nothing left anywhere or I'd find it for you. Make sure you bring extra with your lunch tomorrow."

Only, we know if parents could send more, they would already be doing so.  And I make a note to pick up some granola bars on the way home.

Only, every time I have to say this today, I add a tally until it'd be cheaper to drive to London and go to Costco than to buy that many single boxes of bars...  Oy.

At the end of the day, I walked my last class (of grade 2s? or grade 3s? or grade 2-3s?) back to their room to pack up and I was a little snippy myself.  I sat them all down and said, "Listen, you have to remind your parents that they need to pack more lunch for you now that the snack program is done."

And as soon as I said it, I felt like a schmuck.

There are so few kids in my school that come to school with healthy, real food for both lunches.  There are so few kids in my school that come to school the next day having eaten a proper dinner.  There are so many kids in my school who eat little or nothing over the weekends and show up Monday ravenous and half-hysterical to be safe all day again.

They don't need me to tell them that.  I might as well say, "If you want to not be hungry tomorrow, go catch a unicorn and pluck a single golden hair from its mane.  Sing "Food Glorious Food" from Oliver! and dance a jig, and you shall never be hungry again!"

I'm an ass.

Truthfully, our healthy snack program is run by a wonderful woman who doesn't even have kids at the school anymore. She comes in every day to make sure 350 kids don't have to think about anything but the lesson on the board.  She comes in, chipper, and happy, too, and  I bet it's because she knows she's doing something great.  How about that for a game changer; what GREAT thing have you done today? I feel pretty happy if my socks both match... and I remember to wear them.  She makes sure 350 kids can focus on their futures.

No biggie.

So there I was, trying to tell little kids to make sure they tell their parents to get more food (from where?) and put it in their lunches because our healthy snack program is done for the year.  And I was trying to figure out where I'd get like, $5000 to buy every granola bar in a 35 mile radius.  And I know all the other teachers were making the same phone calls and sending the same emails to try and bridge that same gap.  So I shut up and did the best I could to get the kids ready to go home, instead.  Why rub it in their faces?

I gave the kiddos a smile and had them line up.  I had to exhale slowly as I realized these kids are only a year or two older than my Kiddo #1.  I closed my eyes to do a calming yoga breath when a little blonde girl with blue eyes and a great big, toothless smile, came up and put her hand on mine.

Kiddo:  Ms. Sunny?
Me: Oh, hi.  Yes?
Kiddo:  I know this is probably silly, but...
Me: But what?
Kiddo:  Will you take this and put it in the snack program?

It was three twonies and three quarters.  My eyes welled up with tears.  I closed my eyes and did another calming yoga breath.

Me: Oh, Kiddo. I.  I can't take your money for the snack program.  Why don't you go to the principal and give it to him. He can take it.
Kiddo:  Ok. I just. ... I want to help.
Me: Ohhh.

I gave her a big hug and thankfully the bell rang before I became a blubbering mess.  I did another yoga breath and madly texted another parent from my daughter's old school where I helped do the healthy snack program. Without looking up as I walked, I wrote:

Me: Hey, so do you have any contacts for extra funding? We NEED it here.
Friend 2: yeah. Hold on I'll look it up and email you.
Me: Thanks. I.  Thanks.

I drove home perseverating about the snack program and how can we get money? I picked up my kids and took them with me to the grocery store.  We chose some goldfish crackers, some mini-wheats and (way too many) snack bags.  And while our chicken and potatoes cooked, my daughter and I scooped 1/2 cup portions in the the baggies.  It's not a lot. It will probably only get the school through one day.  But it's one day more than they had, and that means one day more of learning.


And that's, maybe, the best gift I've ever recieved.




If you are itching to part with money-- any amount will help-- pick a school near you and write a cheque for their snack program.  All the schools have them, and most, if not all, will be out of funding by mid-May.  I don't recommend bringing food in-- I've done this (officially) before so I know the proper sanitation and allergy rules to follow, but they're, understandably, very stringent.  Plus, schools can get deals that we can't, so money donations go further.