A Hole of One's Own

Kiddo #2 has been a "turtle" about going to bed lately-- well, forever but more so lately.

A "turtle," by the way, is the term we created because one day Kiddo #2 was being a gigantic turd and I'm pretty sure "turd" is a swear to a two-year-old, so I drew it out and tuuuuuuurd...le was born.

So he's been a turtle lately-- changing his jammies 92 times, sneaking out to get all measure of snacks... You name it. But he's also become clever enough to realize there are some get-out-of-trouble cards he can play. He can invent nightmares that keep him awake; but he's so pitifully slow about it that watching him look up and to the left while pausing ... Between ... Every couple... Of words? And making... Them questions? Is almost hilarious.  He has also figured out that needing to use the toilet works, but only if he produces results. And a couple times, in desperation to stay up, he's even told us he has leg aches, but those always end with A535 being rubbed into his skin: if your muscles don't actually hurt A535 is an intensely painful way to try to get out of going to bed.

Yesterday, during curtain call #4, he arrived wearing a pj shirt on upside down, with his legs in the sleeves and holding the bottom of the shirt up by his nipples.   Sporting neither a diaper nor his Thomas The Tank Engine underoos, he trotted out and said, "Mom, These are my new Dino pants."

Me: Uh, I think that's a shirt on upside down. Go back to bed.
Kiddo #2: No, these are Dino jammies. I love them.
Me: I really don't think that is pants. It's a shirt. Your legs are in the sleeves...
Kiddo #2: No, they're pants! And I love my Dino pants. Plus, Momma, (while shaking his hips like Elvis) PLUS, there's a hole for my penis!

Dancing about, while Kiddo#2 shook his hips, was his penis.

Yes, out through the neck hole of the dinosaur pyjamas peaked his privates. And, while I should have scolded him or not laughed, AT LEAST, all I could think of was how isn't that the crux of manhood: the pursuit of a lovely, comfortable hole for one's penis?

Who could ask for anything more, really?