I Can't Get Into Trouble, I Have Dance

I got my first truancy email today. 

I nearly had a heart attack-- I dropped Kiddo #1 off at school, and for some reason had this nagging feeling that I should watch her walk into school because today would be the day she didn't go inside. I decided not to watch her enter the school, however, because a) that's STUPID and b) I refuse to give in to the frantic lunacy of a woman running on very little sleep.  

She's four, in case you've forgotten. And yes, we missed the bus, again. 

I got the email at 10:20. It said that Kiddo #1 isn't in school this morning. Before I could even respond, Husband was on the horn asking me if everything was ok (he got the email too).  Panicking, I hung up the phone and called the school. 

Yes, Kiddo #1 is there, no, the sub that is in her class accidentally marked her absent.  Cool. 

But seriously, I had half an attack over this-- first off, I'm running on very little sleep (Kiddo #1 was up all night with an earache and Kiddo #2 was up all night because he kept losing that dang Poochie in his bed) and secondly, I had that stupid intuition thing that I ignored.  I really try hard not to ignore those little nagging feelings I have, because, 95% of the time they're right; my brain is much smarter than I am, as it turns out. 

Well, plus I was at the ballet store, getting Kiddo #1 her third pair of ballet and tap shoes for this year (anybody need a size 11 or 12 in near mint condition?) spending oodles on these shoes and all I could think of is "Wait! Maybe she's got herself a day-job and can buy these damn shoes herself!" 

So, when I got a second email this afternoon, reporting that Kiddo #1 was missing ALL DAY now, I called the school half expecting a huge intervention-- we all know that kids who are At Risk start showing problematic behaviours at 4-- they cut classes, are aggressive and never learn to read, pretty soon they're hooked on drugs and have triplets at 16.  I've seen it time and time again. Well, mostly on "Pregnant With Triplets At 16" or whatever that show is, but still.  Frightening. 

Oh, sure Kiddo #1 isn't aggressive, and she can read. But yesterday, I got this note from our daycare provider (remember her? The bootcamp instructor?) saying that Kiddo #2 had been hitting. Hitting, I say! How is this possible? Mellow-Kiddo #2? The kid who nods emphatically when he likes something and can knock you down with his gigantic hugs? Say it ain't so!

Yesterday I got wind I have a hitter, today, I have a truant.  If the dog could take a big dump on the carpet, that would round out the trifecta of awesomeness, no?

(Horse racing announcer voice) 

And they're comin' 'round the last turn, in third is "Kiddo Hit-o," second is "Truancy's 4 Jay-Kay," in first is "Carpet Crappin' Dog." Wait! Comin' up on the outside like a bat outta hell, comes "MommasBackToWork."  MommasBackToWork is speeding passed Kiddo, Truancy's AND Carpet Crappin' Dog! Carpet speeds up but there's nothing that can catch her-- MommasBackToWork For The Win. 

Yeah. Nice. 

FTW is right.