It Be Pirate Week on Discovery

Last week was my first week of summer vacation; we’ve been out since the end of June here, but we immediately went on a mini-wedding-vacation which made ‘reality’ not have to set in until last Monday.

Oh yes, Hell it was.

I tried to tire them out by taking them to the splash pad for hours. True, they frolicked in the water and otherwise had a great time.  The physical exhaustion didn’t even TOUCH the mental non-tiredness they had from the lack of brain stimuli.  I, on the other hand, nearly suffered dehydration because it was roughly 680 degrees here, plus humidity last week. While the children drank and played in the water (uh, drank from my water bottle, not the splash pad), standing in the sun chasing Kiddo #2 and sweating from standing still isn’t very good for the ol’ bod.

By the end of the day, every day last week, I found myself looking at my wristwatch wondering why-oh-why Husband wasn’t home yet.

From 2pm on.

Also, I don’t have a watch.

So, as I sat in the closet curled in a ball hoping the children didn’t figure out I was playing Hide and Seek, it occurred to me that perhaps the problem could be easily remedied the way School and Daycares do it: bring on the theme weeks!

This week, I decided, would be Pirate Week. Arrrrgh!

Today we went to the library where we checked out a bunch of Pirate books (one including a lexicon with pronunciation) and a cookbook (Who knew? Mostly the recipes are for pickles, and fish, and pickled fish, though.)

Kiddo #1 and I spoke to each other in Pirate all day. As in “Momma Pirate Captain, ARRRRGH, I’d like some milk please. ARRRGH.”  And I, sounding like Pirate Steve from Dodgeball without the great hair, would reply with a bunch of “scurvies,” “walk the plank” and squinty eyes.  Kiddo #2 simply ran around roaring/Arrrghing and trying to eat things. I think he thinks we’re doing Dinosaur week,  but it’s ok.  Well, sorta. We all know there were no dinosaurs when there were pirates, so it’s kinda pissing off my historical accuracy, but I’d rather he roar around then whine my frickin’ head off like he did last week.

So,  Kiddo #1 and I spent Kiddo #2’s nap time creating a booty, which is not to say padding our asses with toilet paper.  If you’re very excited about it, I might post the directions on my (mostly defunct) crafty blog.  Let me know if you’re interested in that. Otherwise, know I’m bizarre and horde all sorts of garbage items thinking one day they might be handy craft items. Using my Pampered Chef can opener which doesn’t leave sharp edges, I removed tops and bottoms from all sorts of cans and kept them for this rainy day.

I pulled out the many, many can tops and bottoms and Kiddo#1 and I glued glitter, felt, fake flowers, beads, googlie eyes and ribbon to them.  Once Jr woke up from his (blessed) nap, we went on a treasure hunt. It was great to watch the two kids follow the map Kiddo #1 and I made to find the X – especially since I have NO spatial orientation and can hardly get to my bedroom from the basement without getting lost.

Mostly though, the best part, was the resounding lack of whining. 

Oh Lord, yes, the sound of silence is enough to make a grown woman cry.

Random: while I was at the library, I found out they have “story kits” you can take out for a WHOLE MONTH  at a time. This kit is a Rubbermaid bin full of puppets, stories, CDs, puzzles etc all on one theme. The pirate one was already out, but I picked up the Fairy Tales one and am very excited for next week!  It is sponsored by the Early Years Centre (meaning probably libraries all over Canadia might have this or something similar), and our library in our small town has probably close to 30 if not more. They also can put together bags of books for you if you call ahead. I’m telling you, for an English teacher, there was a LOT I didn’t know I could do at the library.  Bust on over and get yourself some relief from the summer heat, and the whine that goes along with it. J